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Life and Death

Because my friend Jan passed away just over a month ago, and I am going into nursing, death is something that I has been on my mind lately and something that I will continue facing whether I want to or not. It is a great encouragement knowing that my friend Jan gets to spend eternity with our Savior, but simultaneously it is difficult knowing that I will not see her again in this life. The same is the case for many of the children I met in Uganda and Kenya, several of them have likely passed away by now. Death is a natural part of life, and as Christians it can be something we look forward to with anticipation, but at the same time it is a tragedy and a struggle.

One of the things I have yet to understand in our culture is the incredible value we put on life. Part of the reason I want to move to another country as a nurse is to help provide the kids there with hope that they may live past childhood. Meanwhile, here in the US we go to extremes in order to keep someone alive for just a little longer after they have already lived 80 good years. Although it is difficult to face death, I don’t understand the means our culture goes to in order to preserve life when there is no hope of a normal life being a possible outcome. Certainly there are some motives I can understand for keeping a family member alive for a few more days, but those are typically selfish in nature and don’t consider the actual patient. Mostly, though, I think our culture simply fears death.

Whenever this sort of thing comes up I am reminded of Paul’s comment, “For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain.” We have such joy and hope to look forward to, this world is not our home! I think a major indicator of your spiritual walk is how you view death. Certainly there is room to fear dying, or the effects it will have on those you love here, but if you are living full out for God, your friends and family will know that you are bound for Heaven and you will know your destination, thus there should be no reason to fear death. I have yet to reach this point. I still feel as though I have much more to accomplish in this world before I can look back on my life with confidence that I did what God put me here for. But even so, I am confident that if I were to die, it would be clear, because of the way that I lived, that Jesus was my Savior and that I will see my Christian brothers and sisters again someday. This is a comfort, but it is also a challenge. I may feel that way now, but I need to focus on Christ in order to remain in a state where I know God is being glorified through my life.

Though death is something to be anticipated for us as Christians, it is also something to sober us and cause grieving when we experience the death of someone close to us. I’ve found that whenever I am faced with the death of someone I have known, it makes me seriously consider my life and realize its fragility. Often because of all of the safety nets and medical abilities we have, it is easy to think we are indestructible. This mindset is especially prevalent amongst kids and young adults who have not experienced the death of anyone close to them. Until we are faced with the tragedy of premature death, the value of life is difficult to comprehend. It is crucial, though, to consider such tragedies and mature as a result of processing them. Ultimately it comes down to whether or not we trust God with life as well as with death. This trust is a lifelong process, but one I believe is necessary for us as Christians to recognize and strive to comprehend.

What Do You Believe?

After nearly three months studying at Cedarville University I have observed some things about the Christian college environment. Let me start by stating that Cedarville has chapel five days a week, and a required Bible minor. So far I have enjoyed the chapel speakers, and my Bible classes this semester have been interesting and enjoyable. But with sermons six days a week, and five more lectures on the Bible each week, I’ve begun to question my ability to process all this information. Certainly I can memorize names, dates and important aspects of different worldviews, and I can pass exams testing my memory, but that is merely head knowledge. How can what I hear in class and chapel move from my head to my heart and become action?

One of the major changes I’ve experienced in transferring to a Christian college, is the people and their viewpoints which I am constantly surrounded by. Back at the community college I constantly had my views questioned, and regularly wrestled with how to react to the actions of others. My classes were not taught from a Christian perspective, and I had to formulate my own opinions. Rather than everyone being a Christian, I had to seek out community with other believers. Although at the time this was often a struggle, it challenged me to really think through what I was taught and what I believed. I still memorized information in order to pass tests, but I was far more hesitant to consider something truth or apply it to my life outside the classroom.

Now that I am at a Christian college the option is there to simply accept what I am taught because I generally agree with the worldview presented by the chapel speakers, professors and other students. Particularly with so many sermons and lectures each week, this is a very tempting mindset. However, once I consider the depth of importance the information I am being taught contains, I can’t approach it in this way. My fear is that I will hear incredible testimonies, amazing details about the Bible, and wonderful ways to apply what the Bible teaches, but that it will only make it into my head and not through to my heart and actions. I don’t want to become a Christian who attends church every week, maybe even attends a Bible study or two, but whose life shows little or no evidence of Christianity.

The conclusion I have come to is that I need to not only hear what is being said, but seriously consider it. Granted I can’t accomplish this with every sermon or lecture I hear, but I can come close. My Bible classes are generally open for discussion, so much of the time I can wrestle through concepts through asking questions and dialoguing with my professors and classmates. And although I am not a huge fan of writing, the papers I have been assigned have provided great opportunities to consider uncertainties I have come away from class with. My hope is that through asking questions and seriously processing the information taught in my classes I will be able to challenge not only myself, but also my classmates to not take everything as truth simply because someone reliable said it.

The other night I was talking with some other Cedarville students as we drove back from helping at a youth group. The topic of discussion was chapel speakers. Last week a question was presented during chapel about the background and accomplishments of the vast majority of the people who speak during chapel each day. I found this to be a very fascinating conversation. Most of our chapel speakers are Cedarville graduates who have become pastors, missionaries, or are otherwise fairly well known and have accomplished something “successful” according to most Christians’ definition. Although this is good and can be motivational or encouraging, there are many more Christians in our world who are doing incredible things, but who don’t fit that description. The conclusion we came to is that inviting chapel speakers who are controversial could be very beneficial, simply because they would spark conversation and introduce opinions we will face sooner or later in life. I have purposefully exposed myself to authors and speakers who I have not fully agreed with in an effort to better understand what I do believe. My brother has been very helpful in this process as he always seems to have an opinion and thus challenges me to really think.

Now I present the same challenge to you: Process what you see and hear. Consider the questions and topics addressed in day to day life, whether through classes, church, books, or conversations, and don’t just take something as truth because of who said it, rather challenge yourself to think. Realistically you won’t be able to move a concept from your mind to your heart and eventually into action without first understanding your reasons behind thinking the way that you do.

Peace Beyond Logic

God never ceases to amaze me with opportunities above and beyond what I imagine. Over the last 6 months my life has changed. First I was able to experience living away from home and spending all my time with other interns close to my age and full of incredible stories and faith in Jesus Christ. Then I found out I was accepted into COCC’s extremely competitive nursing program. After the first few weeks of nursing school I discovered I love taking care of people, and I am certain nursing is what I want to do, but I also found that staying in Central Oregon didn’t feel right. I applied to one school halfway through last term, and found out a few weeks later that I had been accepted to start at Cedarville University in January 2011. I notified my instructors at COCC as well as my classmates, and discovered there was another woman hoping to get back into nursing school after dropping out a few years ago. The most amazing thing to me though, is the peace I have experienced even as I have left the program I was already in. At COCC I was being paid to go to school because it was fairly cheap and I was given scholarships and grants to cover the entire cost plus food and housing which I was getting for free by living with my family. This semester alone at Cedarville I will take out the maximum loans I am allowed in addition to spending the extent of my savings. I have never been to visit Cedarville University or even Ohio. Nor do I know my roommate or more than one person at Cedarville,  but I am ready to leave and I have peace beyond my comprehension. I am excited, and nervous, but not to the extent I might expect to be. I am more at peace now, facing moving, leaving home, meeting new people, leaving my comfort zone, and everything else that is about to happen as I leave for college than I was two months ago looking forward to another year and a half in COCC’s nursing program. I am walking forward knowing that God has an incredible plan beyond my understanding and perfect for His will. I leave for Cedarville University in Ohio in four days 10 hours and 7 minutes. I will be studying Nursing with a minor in Cross-Cultural Nursing as well as a minor in Bible. Lord-willing it will take me three and a half years to complete their Bachelor’s level program which will certify me as a Registered Nurse. Eventually I dream of moving to Central Africa and becoming a medical missionary serving the most vulnerable in a practical and loving way. For now though, I am taking another step; different than I had anticipated, but what I believe God is directing me towards and what He has given me peace about.

Paradox

So many things in this world don’t make sense. Opposites exist when they shouldn’t. Part of the world spends millions of dollars on a single day, while other parts of the world simply need clean water, food and shelter. How can both exist in the same world? In the US we claim Christmas is all about Christ, but we don’t live as He did. Most of us don’t celebrate Christmas the way Christ would have. While Jesus was here He spent His time with the poor, sick, needy, outcasts and forgotten. Forgotten because we forget them. Driving around, on the eve of Christmas Eve, not only did I see more people shopping, spending money, but I also saw more people standing on street corners with cardboard signs. We give gifts to those from whom we also anticipate gifts, not the people in the most need. I don’t think that is how God intended us to live.

Created for Relationship

Everyone has the need for relationship. Ultimately the fulfillment of this need is Jesus Christ. In order for us to better understand what relationship means though, God has placed other people in our lives. I have had many friendships come and go and through each I have learned the challenge of loving unconditionally, the way God loves us.  Unconditional love is impossible by our own strength, but God offers it for us. Friendships also provide an opportunity to learn the sacrifice the is necessary to really care about someone; choosing to put someone above yourself and do something for them rather than for yourself. One of the most amazing things about Jesus dying on the cross, is that He didn’t have a guarantee that we would acknowledge His sacrifice.  He loved us unconditionally, and gave His life to prove it. The relationships we have here on earth, with each other, provide a view of imperfectness, but God provides a view of completeness. Searching for perfect love in this world will cause us to come up empty, only God can provide us with perfect love. There will be people at times in life though who show God’s love as we are called to do, but ultimately our satisfaction and completeness in relationship will only come from God.

The Joy of Family

I recently purchased a new camera, the perfect excuse for taking my family out on a photo shoot. We went to a nearby park and had a blast, check it out!

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